My DDH and turn of events - Part 2

Next week DDH has an appointment with vascular surgeon. It is unclear if I am to attend or not.

My DDH and turn of events

2:45 am. Awake again. Lots of events since my last post.

Last week I went with my DDH to neurosurgeon consult on a surgical pain relief solution for his back. Here are the facts:

• Degenerative disc disease, diabetes, venous stasis ulcers on his legs
• ALIF disc fusion surgery can reduce pain level from 9-10 to a 2-3 with 90% success rate
• Vascular surgeon can determine what needs to happen (weight loss) in order to make the incision in the belly for the neurosurgeon to do the ALIF
• Information on ALIF including a video website were given
• Venous stasis ulcers must be clear
• It was suggested that bariatric surgery might be part of the solution
• Referrals to vascular surgeon, weight loss clinic were provided

No further discussion of this has taken place.

I have come to understand...

Through God's mercy and grace, I have come to believe the following things to be true about my circumstance:

• I live with a DDH (dear diabetic husband) who is an out of control diabetic.
• I have been co-dependent with my diabetic.
• I am not responsible for his eating habits, or health.
• I am responsible for my own eating habits, and health.
• I live with a person who has chronic pain
• I am sympathetic.
• I try to be supportive of his efforts to control his pain.
• I live with a verbally abusive man.
• I am learning what that means.

I am so grateful for the people in my life who love and support me.

• Tracie; for her business sense, and her ability to see clearly and speak clearly when I cannot.
• Becky; for her relationship with God. She inspires me by telling me God's truth. She does not allow me to weasel my way out.
• Kathy; for her love, companionship, listening ear, and her great laugh. I love having such great fun with her. Our Mom's truly gave us a gift of relationship.

Gut punched - Wake up call

Just found some inspiring/comforting blogs that I can identify with. I found them when Google couldn't answer my questions about what my responsibility is for the diabetic in my life.

Yesterday was one of the most horrid days that I've experienced.

DDH sent me texts that blew me away;  he was having problems while I was out with family.

Later I came home and we had a quiet logical discussion about the truth of his diabetic rollercoaster of the last 24 hours. More about this later.

I've been looking on WebMD and everywhere I can find to determine if he is in a dangerous situation physically. So here I am the day after still wondering what my responsibility is, and why I'm the one spending my time and energy trying to be codependent with his disease.

This blog thing may not be very fluid thought for me for awhile while I get used to writing.

He's awake again 3pm. tty l8r